Have you seen this show on TLC? I caught one episode only because I was beyond bored, and then… I couldn’t look away. I have no idea what season or episode this was, but it had the mother of five girls whose 6-year old twins competed against each other in the pageant.

First let me say that I’m not “against” the kids pageants. My kids aren’t in them, and I am glad… because some of it ends up being rather creepy (spray tans and fake teeth?!) But it’s a hobby for these families. I get that. Not what I’d chose for my family, but that’s not really relevant. To each their own, I guess, as long as the children are being treated well.

I expected to see teased hair, makeup and foofy dresses, and I was not disappointed. What I did not expect to see was this mother who so obviously favored one of her twin daughters over the other. On national television, she talked about how beautiful the one girl was (she looks like Mommy, she said), and how the other had a big nose (she didn’t, not that it matters). How talented the one twin was, and how she didn’t expect the other little girl to win anything.

Wow. It was so disturbing. (Have I mentioned I couldn’t look away? I am a sucker for bad reality TV.)

My heart goes out to those twins, because their mother is, quite frankly, setting them up for a disastrious relationship.

Tags : ramble, TV

That’s right, our dog has managed to get sprayed by a skunk twice in less than a month’s time… apparently he has not learned his lesson. (That skunk? NOT your friend.) The first time was awful, since he ran in his doggie door and rubbed himself all over the carpet all the way through the house. We had to rent an ozone generator to rid the house of the funk. Did I mention it was AWFUL? It was, I promise.

This time, he made a beeline through the house, right to Lu’s bed. Then he rubbed the skunk oil off onto her comforter. (Isn’t it nice being the dog’s favorite human?) B was able to detect, apprehend, and eject the dog from the house before he rolled on anything else.

He got doused in tomato juice several times and sprayed with the hose, an indignity he tolerated surprisingly well. He smells like a dog now, and will be going to the groomer Monday for some cologne. Lu’s bedding is in the wash, third wash cycle… it doesn’t smell anymore but I haven’t been able to bring myself to pull it out yet.

We live in town, so I’m not sure why this skunk is hanging around. I am an animal lover by nature, but I will admit to having murderous thoughts toward this little striped visitor. Yuck.

Tags : dogs, home, ramble

Me: Don’t talk with your mouth full.

W: A really good reason not to talk with your mouth full is: If you say a word that rhymes with a BAD WORD, and your mouth is full of food, it could sound like you said the THE BAD WORD!

…

Me: (referring to a spill on the dinner table.) Wipe that up.

KJ: OK

Me: Not with your tongue! Use your napkin!

Tags : conversations, kids

At least, there isn’t supposed to be. When you trudge off the field and refuse to give your coach a “high five” because you got out at second base, that’s just as bad. You still had a great hit, bud, and hustled around those bases! I know it’s hard being 7, and I feel for you… I really do. But, when does this disappointment thing become easier to deal with? Oh… wait… it never does. Sniff.

Tags : kids, sports

I went to Wal-Mart last night in my pajamas. Where I live, this means that I was still more fashionable than 1/2 of the other customers. (Not being snarky, it’s really true.) I considered putting jeans back on, but I only needed to pick up the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, and also ice cream to eat while watching LOST. (What? These are valid reasons to rush out to Wal-Mart in jammies!)

Anyway, got this newspaper clipping in an email joke today and found it especially humorous, considering:

Tags : outings, ramble

(Look at me, with a theme week. So what if I go months between posts. I can declare a special theme and post more than once a week if I want to. This is how I overcome my OCD, by being unorganized and random. Hah!)

I never thought I would say this, or even BE this, but I’ve become rather addicted to texts, aka SMS messages on my phone. Now wait, before you roll your eyes and assume I sit all day and chat with my friends by poking my thumbs at my phone, give me a chance to explain fully. Yes, I do chat with my friends via text, but that’s not the bulk of my monthly texting bill. I have found lots of other ways to rack up the texts each month, and I’m amazed at how much time I can waste save!

Exhibit A: Mobile Banking

Yes, my bank offers banking via text message. I had to register my phone online, and now I can text the bank, and they text me back instantly with my balance, recent transactions, etc. Very handy.

Exhibit B: Weather

If I’m away from my computer, which does happen occasionally, I can check the forecast by sending a text to Weather.com.

Exhibit C: Amber Alerts

I signed up awhile back to receive Amber Alerts for my area via text message. I haven’t gotten any yet, thank goodness.

Exhibit D: Class Info

My college sends class cancellation info via text to students who sign up to receive them. Also very handy.

Exhibit E: Facebook

I can update my Facebook status by sending a text message, they call it the “mobile” app. The other settings could allow me to get responses, too, or wall posts. (This one would be the potential time waster, if, um, one were so inclined.)

What about you? Are you using texts for more than, “plz pick up bread on ur way home”?

Tags : ramble, technology

I have many, many pictures that live on my camera. I don’t have a reasonable explanation for why I don’t hook up the cable and put the photos on my computer. Oh, wait, yes I do. I’m busy and lazy. Also, procrastinator. (Not the best combo.)

I have many, many more pictures that are sitting on my laptop, waiting to be transferred to Kodak Gallery. I know this is bad, bad, bad. I know that if my laptop crashes, I will likely lose photos forever. Every once in a blue moon awhile, I force myself to sit down, organize the pictures, and upload them to Kodak.

Then, the other day, I stumbled across an article about how to become a digital mom (I know, I know). And when I got to step 3, I wanted to jump out of my chair in excitement.*

An SD memory card for my camera that will automatically upload my pictures to my computer, over wi-fi?

And it will load them on Flickr, or on Kodak Gallery, automatically?

And I don’t have to do a thing?

Hallelujah! Eye-Fi! The perfect product for those of us who are lazy, busy, procrastinators. And, for others who just want to save a few steps now and then Why didn’t I hear about this sooner? Mine is on the way, I got the 2GB “Eye-Fi Share” version for $40 on eBay. I’ll be sure to post a review once I’ve had a chance to try it.

*mild exaggeration

Tags : ramble, technology

Today I moved this blog from Blogger to Wordpress. Anyone notice?… anyone? Alrighty then. Apparently Blogger wasn’t sending me any traffic. Bastards.

I love Wordpress way more than blogger, for the record. Now I’m off to install plugins and tinker and stuff. Fun, fun

Tags : ramble

If you knew me in real life, and heard me say that I’m going to run a 5K, you’d probably fall down laughing. And I’d tell you to f–k off. And then I’d tell you that I AM SO going to run one.

I started this training program which promises to take me from Couch to 5K in 9 weeks. The race I’m entering is to raise awareness and money for breast cancer research, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. A good friend is doing the training and the race with me, which I hope will keep me on track. (Ha, on track. Accidental pun!)

Tonight was the first workout, and I was supposed to alternate 60 second jogs with 90 second brisk walking. I couldn’t find my stopwatch on the way out the door, so I counted in my head. ONE-one-thousand-TWO-one-thousand-THREE-one-thousand… According to my cell phone, the 20-minute workout took me 30 minutes. Which means… I… count… really… really… slow.

Tags : 5K, running

Conversation with the 4-year-old:

KJ: Guess what? ‘Rack Obama is our 44th President.
Me: That’s right, Barack Obama.
KJ: Guess how I learned that? At Daycare!
Me: That’s great, buddy!
KJ: Guess who was our first President, Mama.
Me: Who?
KJ: George Washington!
Me: That’s right, good job.
KJ: Guess how I learned that?
Me: At Daycare?
KJ: Yup… Did you vote for George Washington, Mama?
Me: Not quite that old, bud.

Tags : conversations, kids